Big Blue

We get to home tomorrow!!! This is exciting news to me and the kids. we are tired of being in Nairobi, car shopping. We thought that we would be driving home in a car all our own, but alas we are flying. We were positive that we had found the perfect car, but we can't get the log book (equivalent to a pink slip) for a few weeks. The owner of the car is out of country, so hopefully if all goes well, we get the log book and own a car as soon as he gets back. So we are car-less, going back to Kisumu to once again be a burden to all those we call friends. I never imagined that finding a car would be so difficult, but we have been here for a week looking for anything we can find, and in the end we will return home with only the hope of a 1992 blue Defender. I will include a picture of it so that you will know what we are hoping for. My kids as you can see are very comfortable with our choice in a car. I don't know if the owner would be as happy to find them climbing like monkeys all over it.
One of the things that we were excited about is that all the seats have seat-belts; most of the cars that we have looked at haven't had them at all. It is going to be so sad for Sam to be back in a car-seat when we finally get a car. He has gotten used to the freedom of a loose lap-belt (that doesn't tighten). I have had to pray a lot, and give up on some of my US thinking (like all cars should have working seat-belts, and my kids will NEVER ride in a car that doesn't have a proper shoulder harness). Let's just say I am as pleased as punch when my kids have a working seat-belt when we go somewhere.

Please pray that we can resolve the log book issue quickly. Actually, quickly doesn't happen around here, Kenya has a way of teaching patience just by living life. Maybe a better prayer would be that the Lord would direct us to the car he wants us to buy.
The next time I write, I'll be writing from our home in Kisumu.

P.S. We're trying the name Big Blue out, it has a nice ring to it, don't you think?

Sweet Sam

Sam was hidden behind my big head in our family picture (below), so I wanted to give you a sweet picture of him looking up at the giraffes. The other is Nattie wishing she could take the animal home as her pet!

Giraffes

Today I did something that I never thought I would do, I felt the inside of a giraffe's mouth. We actually paid money to have giraffes come over and slime us. After you got used to an enormous, sticky tongue wrapped around your hand, it was quite enjoyable. You have to be careful though, apparently giraffes like to head-butt. At first we were cautious, standing back and throwing food at the poor animals hoping that one might land into their mouths when they came close, but after awhile we became old pros and fed the large beasts from our hands. The only thing that all of us decided against was letting the giraffe take food from our teeth (I'm sorry to report that I think we were the only ones that decided against it). Everything went well, no unfortunate head-butting injuries, the giraffes actually were in good moods and seemed to like us (a lot). The kids LOVED it and Sam and Nattie were so upset when we had to leave. Sam said he wanted to live with the giraffes, but after much consideration Tom and I decided against it, and a very disappointed Sam came home with us.

There is a pillow here, that I'm pretty sure at one point was the rock that Jacob used when he dreamed about the ladder coming down from heaven. This pillow was unfortunately mine the first night, but the next morning I passed it along. It has been slowly making its way through every member of the family. It's almost my turn again in the pillow rotation so I'm hoping to leave before it gets back to me. That, and the fan in our room sounds like a horse trotting along on a cobblestone street, I have actually had a lot of dreams about horses this week. Nairobi has been fun, but I am ready to get back to fluffy pillows and quiet fans.

Nairobi

We are in Nairobi; we have been for the last week and this is the first day we have had Internet. I had great expectations of having a fast connection and being able to call all those I miss so much, but no such luck. It has been a trying week, I feel the Lord is trying to teach me something that I must not be learning! Maybe it's because I have been praying for patience, a dangerous prayer, I know. But the fact is, I'm sitting here half sane wishing that the hotel room I'm sharing with four children was bigger. I have ceased praying for patience now and have turned my prayers to finding a car so that I can get back to Kisumu FAST, where there is a yard to send kids out to play and a room I can go to to get away (that is the beginnings of a great poem, if I were to write it I would call it "Motherhood").

At the beginning of this week our sweet Zach woke up very sick. After he had been up for a few hours it was very apparent that we needed to take him to the emergency room. Not wanting to try out the African health care system I was reluctant to take him, but after praying and seeing him so sick we loaded him up and took him to the hospital. After a day of tests, re hydration and IV antibiotics we were told he has a severe bacterial infection. The cause being salmonella, e-coli or shigella, we should know more tomorrow. He is at home now, doing much better (he is now able to take antibiotics orally)and we will follow up with our doctor in Kisumu. We aren't sure how he contracted it, but we are thankful we were in Nairobi when he did.

Looking for a car here has been awful. We can't seem to find what we are looking for or rather if we do find something we like we always get the mazungu or "white person" price. We are praying that the Lord would make it clear what we are supposed to buy.

We have been here for a month now and I am slowly but surly getting used to my new life. Thank you for reading my ramblings and giving me such sweet words of encouragement. I LOVE your comments, they make my day. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for praying for my Zach, it is a true miracle that he has recovered so quickly.

Heartache

Today I have a bad case of heartache. Loneliness has set in so much that it physically hurts, and I can’t figure out why it chose to come today. There have been blessings all around me, yet my soul is weary and my spirit sad. We had electricity today, we went to a church that we really enjoyed and met people that were very nice, we went out to lunch with friends, and found out that Beatrice is out of the hospital and is doing very well. I couldn’t ask for a better day, yet here I sit fighting back tears. I long to be with my family and friends at home, I wish this were a Sunday of Modesto BBQ’s and swimming. I want to hear familiar voices and laughter and sleep in my own bed. I keep trying to be strong, but the fact is, I’m not. I’m weak and I keep praying that the Lord’s strength would kick in, I’m not sure when it will happen, but I know it will. That’s my hope right now, that’s what I’m clinging to, I know that my God is faithful to His word. I keep repeating verses like:

Phil. 4:13 (NIV) “I can do everything through Him who gives me strength”, or 2 Tim. 1:12 (NIV) “I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him for that day”.

I find that I’m just like the Israelites, I seem to easily forget all that the Lord has done. When things get hard I buckle down and stoke the fire of idolatry. I rely on my own strength and power and tend to bow down to anything that promises to satisfy. Today it was chocolate chips and shortbread cookies, they promised relief, they brought only sickness. So here I stand, before my God, asking forgiveness for taking things into my own hands once again, and hoping that this time I have learned my lesson. The thought I will leave you with is this, loneliness doesn’t leave when one eats an insane amount of sweets, it only makes you feel sick and sad. Tomorrow promises to be a brighter day, so I will go to sleep and look forward to a refreshed spirit.

Ramblings

Our first week of school is finished! We made it, and I actually started to really enjoy myself by the end of the week. Next week we will be in Nairobi, so I will pack up my school supplies and hit the road. My kids don't enjoy that school is now portable, but I sure do. The one thing I forgot, that they don't sell here is crayons. Can you believe that I have a 5 and 3 year old and I forgot crayons. Diane let me use the ones she has for the juvenile hall, which Nattie and Sam use everyday. I'm going to look for some in Nairobi (so I don't use hers up) and if I can't find them there, I'll have my mom bring me some in September. There are lots of things that I forgot (or didn't have the room to bring) and my lucky parents get to pack up all my stuff and bring it with them when they come (thanks mom and dad). Tom's parents are coming with my parents in September, yea team (my kids ask everyday when they are coming). We are trying to get a couple of rooms set up in our house so they both can stay with us (I am so excited). I know it isn't for a long time, but I am still starting to get ready.

Tomorrow the power will be off all day, this practice is something that I can't get used to. Our power was off and on all day today, luckily I was still able to make dessert. Somehow I always find a way to squeeze in the important things. We had Samosa Saturday tonight, like the name suggests we eat samosas for dinner on Saturday nights with a few friends. It seems my whole family looks forward to this weekly ritual.

Zach just got out of the shower complaining that he didn't have any hot water. Apparently Cass decided that she would take all the hot water and the rest of us would get the left overs (thanks Cass). I have become an expert cold water shower taker. I'm not bragging because this is a title that few would want. But the truth is I can get in, shave with goose-bumps, wash my hair while shivering and get out before hypothermia sets in (now that's pretty impressive). Zach on the other hand hasn't honed the craft like I have, but he soon will if he continues to take showers after Cassie.

I haven't heard anything new about Beatrice, just keep praying and I will keep you posted.

Living Water

The plumber finally came yesterday, valve, ladder, and tools in hand (how does he carry so much on his bike?). He crawled into our attic, pounded on a few things, and voila we had 30-50 psi flowing through our African pipes. Never having had that much pressure put on them, a leak was sprung, sometime in the middle of the night, and water was freely flowing onto our bathroom floor. When we woke up, Tom assessed the situation, said that it would be an easy problem to fix, and “soon” we would be back in business. I’m tired of the word soon, I hear it too much around these parts. What exactly does it mean? To me it means anywhere from 5 min to 24 hours, but there is an entirely different definition in Kisumu. Soon can mean any time frame between 2 days and 2 years, but I have come to realize it is NEVER measured in hours.

We are getting the hang of school and are starting to enjoy ourselves. Today was a light day as I had Bible study, so that really was nice. Tomorrow it’s back to our regular schedule, I hope to shorten our days a bit, right now we start at 8:30 a.m. and finish around 4:00 p.m.. I need to be able to do some fun activities with the kids during the day (they keep asking about PE). But I have so many things to get through I wonder how we are ever going to fit PE in.

Our work permits were approved and we will probably be flying to Nairobi next week to go and pick them up. This is a huge answer to prayer as we have heard of people waiting an entire year to get their permits, we were able to get ours in 3 months! While we are in Nairboi we are going to stay a few days and do some car shopping. I hope that this trip will prove more successful than the last one.

I made tacos tonight, everyone loved them. They don’t have tortillas here so I decided to use chapattis instead, and they were a big hit with the family. I decided to include this bit of news so that you would all see that I am starting to get more creative.

I hope to have Internet tomorrow so that I can get caught up on my e-mailing. Our Internet has been doing really well for the past few hours and I am hoping that the worst is behind us. I love reading your comments, they make my day. Thank you for praying for me, I feel like I’m doing better this week. I think school has been a good distraction for all of us!

Waiting

So here we sit in Africa waiting, waiting, waiting for the plumber to return. He entered our life a few weeks ago full of promise, we had high hopes that this would be the man to solve all of our water dilemmas. He left our house a week and a half ago saying he was just going to get some parts, that he would be right back. He rode away on his bicycle never to be heard from again. Maybe he is searching high and low for the valve that we so desperately need, but as the days go on I’m starting to doubt his dedication to the job. Maybe his bicycle got a flat and there he sits at home with a valve in hand and no way to deliver it. Without that one part we are at a stand still in our water project. So here we wait, dirty and thirsty wondering when our filter will work!
I started school on Monday and haven’t been able to blog about my experiences because my Internet never works. It’s probably for the best as I would have complained greatly about my lack of teaching skills. Today was a better day, and although I still feel overwhelmed I feel like I am making progress towards sanity. My kids are doing AWESOME, they are teaching me, “how to be a real teacher”, and they only sometimes get annoyed when I asked to be laid off. They haven’t promised any salary increases in the near future, but I am holding out for back and foot rubs every night. So far they aren’t giving in, but we are still in negotiations.
We had a movie night last night with pop corn, chocolate, and friends (it doesn’t get much better than that). It felt like we were at home and that’s always fun. It was raining so hard that at times we couldn’t even hear the movie. My kids are excited about the rain because they just planted a garden and want it to get watered. I don’t know much about farming, but I think that those poor seeds drowned last night. Everyday the kids go and look for any sign of life in their garden, a little green sprout would make their week.
Please pray for Beatrice, she is now in the hospital. We put her in today and are hoping that they will be able to figure out what is wrong with her. The doctor, we go to, said that it doesn’t look good (the blood tests), but we are praying for her, and hope she makes a full recovery.

Life of Privilege

I wonder if I will ever understand why the Lord chose me. Why was I born into a life of privilege? A life of healthcare and never going hungry; a life where my basic needs were met and a lot of my wants were satisfied. Why was I born into a family that loves and cares for me unconditionally and looks out for my best interests? Why was I born into a country that gave me a free education and safe streets to walk down? Why am I not among one of the millions of street children that are in this world? Why have I never had to deal with the kind of poverty that makes a mother throw her own child out on the street? This place shows no mercy, hunger and starvation strike all ages. Sickness and death are not relegated to the old. And I have to ask why? I know I will never understand the answers, but for some reason I still ask.

My life isn't an accident, the time and place to which I was born was chosen for a reason. What am I going to do with the blessings the Lord has given me? I feel a sense of responsibility to do something with the things I have been given. Maybe it is to support my husband in the work that he is doing here, and to educate our children. But what if it's more, what if I'm being called to stop complaining about being here, and to be happy with a life that is outside my comfort zone. What if I am actually being called to make the best of my circumstances, and to stop looking at myself and start looking at those around me? Because when I start looking around, I see people who need a lot of help. People who don't even have their basic needs met; people who weren't given the blessing of education and family. The very things that we take for granted, they have never known. So as I sit here and write I'm overcome with the sense that I have it pretty good, and that I need to daily get on my knees and thank my Father for my life of privilege.

Our Luggage was Lost, but Now it's Found

We received 1 1/2 of our 2 bags. One of them was not even a box anymore, but rather a black garbage bag with tape all over it. It weighed about 1/2 of what it did when we left indicating that at some point it burst open and some of the stuff was lost. That "stuff" was poor Nattie's toys. Sam's are mostly here, and so is Tom's guitar, but Nattie's babies and "My Little Pet shop" animals (which she had a ton of) didn't make it. My heart hurt for her as she realized that her things were not in the bag. Thankfully some people sent us to Africa with some birthday presents for her (which is in August) we may just have to celebrate her birthday early! I also told her that she can ask for the things she lost for Christmas, but that didn't console her much. Even though Nattie can't find it in her heart to be happy, I am very thankful that we got what we did. The lesson we learned is NEVER pack in cardboard boxes. All those who have lived overseas before are rolling their eyes at our rookie mistake, but you live and learn and then you buy "Rubber Maid".

Our internet has been on and off hundreds of times over the past two days, it's so frustrating. I've decided to think (in order to remain sane) that they are working on it to make it better and that's why they need to keep shutting it down. I don't think that is the reality, but it makes the shut offs easier to swallow.

Please pray for our friend Beatrice, she is very sick. She works for us here, and helps me to keep this house running. She hasn't been here in three days so I have had to do many things that I've never done before (including ironing all socks and underwear). All our laundry has to be ironed because of mites that get into them when they are drying. We iron not for wrinkles, but for rather for bug killing. Today Dianne Warn helped me out by calling a girl that she knows; she came right away and has rescued me from an eternity of ironing.

I'm going to a women's Bible study today and am excited to get involved with the other missionaries here. Tom and I have met some great people, Daniel and Linsay, they are here (from Canada) with their two young children. God had blessed us with their friendship and I'm thankful that we have had many fun evenings eating, playing, and mice hunting together. It makes rodents more bearable when you can hunt them with friends!

Tom's Back

Tom’s back from Nairobi, a little wiser to the ways of Kenya, but not much was checked off his to do list. He met with three different government agencies and was surprised at the complete lack of organization of each one. Dealing with the government here is an interesting process that takes A LOT of patience. There’s that word again, I have a love hate relationship with it. I love patience when it’s extended to me, I hate it when I have to extend it to others. Yet, that is what is required of me day after day with this move, with my children, with this culture. I don’t have any more patience to give, I’m tired of giving it away and having nothing to show for it in return. Maybe that’s the lesson the Lord is wanting me to learn: sometimes we do things simply because He tells us to. There’s not going to always be recognition, or thanks, or encouragement, or even a prize at the end (at least not in this life) but we extend patience because it’s what He wants, it’s what He gives. He says, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9, NIV), so I will take my God at His word and keep walking, trusting that He will give me the patience I lack. Praise God that His strength is made perfect in my weakness, I will say with Paul , “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ’s power may rest on me” (2 Corinthians 12:9b, NIV). Praise you, Father.

Patience

Good news, Tom was able to catch “our” bat and throw him outside, in the net of course. I mean, he literally threw the whole net outside and shut the door. In the morning the bat was gone, at some point during the night, he must have freed himself and flown away. I doubt that he was flying as high as he used to. The whole experience must have been pretty traumatic for him, I know it was for Tom.

Bad news, we have an attic FULL of bats that are just waiting their turn to dive into one of the many holes that lead into our house. We are going to get hooked up with a bat removal man, which is a nice way of saying EXTERMINATOR. We also have to get all of our holes plugged (or whatever you do to little holes) so that more bats don’t move into our attic. But the good news is that they are just fruit bats and only bite sometimes, I personally feel much better about the situation now.

Tom is in Nairobi today, trying to get as much done as he can in the few hours he has there. It is always dangerous to have a list of things you want to accomplish in a short amount of time here. The Africans are on a completely different clock than us Americans; they tend to see no reason to hurry. It will be interesting to see what Tom gets checked off his list. I’m really hoping he is able to find out more about our lost bags, or better yet find them.

The Lord is teaching me patience. Learning is a slow process, it happens a little at a time, one day at a time. I don’t love waiting, I just want to know everything right now. I want to understand and not be confused, I want to have friends like I do at home, I want to have a church community like the one I came from, I want to know my way around and not feel like I’m constantly lost. But that’s not my reality, and as much as I want those things, I need to trust that the Lord is teaching me through this confusion. He has been faithful to give me friends here, to help guide me through this whole process. I need to let go of the wanting and be content with the learning. James 1:2-3 (NIV) “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.”

Only in Africa

Thank you for all your prayers for Nattie, she is getting better. She still has a tender tummy, but no fever (yea team). She was so excited because we went to Nakumatt today, her first journey after being cooped up in the house for so long. All in all, it was an uneventful trip to the grocery store, but it was good to see her out and about once again. I also wanted to say thank you for all the recipes, I NEED them, so if you find a good one send it my way.

This week is looking like it is going to be busy; Tom has meetings tomorrow with the Mayor of Kisumu (yes, I know, we are big time now!). He is trying to figure out who is trying to build a road down the middle of Agape. Hopefully, the mayor knows, because no one else seems to, yet the tractor is getting closer to our campus every day. Only in Africa would a renegade road builder try to "pave" where he was not wanted. Tom also gets to fly to Nairobi Tuesday, he is going to check on our work permits and to try to settle a land deed issue for Agape. I hope that he can find a car while he is there, I'm ready to be a mobile family once again.

Cassie just came out of her room screaming because a bat is flying around in there. Tom has gone in, armed with a homemade net, a flashlight and a can of DOOM. He just came flying out declaring, "Cassie's room now belongs to the bat!". I have just given him a pep talk, prayed for him and he is now feeling the courage to go back in and try again. Here he comes again still no bat, just an empty net. He definitely is not Batman and, to tell you the truth, I think that The Boy Wonder is also a little out of his league. He has now resorted to throwing shoes at it from the safety of the doorway, this is just going from bad to worse...I must let you all go and try to help my "fearless" husband rid our house of our little flying friend.

All New

Good news first…my dinner turned out great last night. I now have two things I can make well. I believe the Lord had His hand on that casserole, I will admit I was going swear off cooking forever if it failed. So, needless to say, the same great casserole I made for dinner showed up on our plates for lunch today, and if I don’t get creative soon it just might reappear for dinner tonight.

The hardest part of this move has been the loneliness. I live among a people I don’t understand and they don’t understand me. We use different body language and voice inflections. We get hurt and upset by different things. We have come from different backgrounds and seem to always be missing each other. I’m learning that words are only a small part of communication, the way we hold ourselves and our facial expressions seem to be just as important. I wonder how long it will take for me to catch on. The culture shock is that nothing I have learned in life seems to apply here. I am an infant in an adult body looking at the world around me trying to take everything in, trying to learn. Maybe one day this will all make sense, but right now I seem to cry all the time because of over stimulation. I am overwhelmed by the simplest tasks just because they are done differently here. Washing dishes is a good example, too much bleach in the dish water = stomach cramps, not enough = parasites = stomach cramps. It’s a no win situation. Going to the bathroom in the middle of the night isn’t any easier; I can’t seem to find my way out of the mosquito net to go. I have learned, however, that a three year old just figures it easier to wet the bed than hassle with the net (and in my new found infancy, I don’t blame him). I wonder how long it will take for these things to become second nature me. Will I ever be able to drive on the other side of the road, dodging livestock (that look so pathetic, I’m sure they are praying for someone to put them out of their misery) and bicycles? Will I ever fit in here? Will I ever be useful here? For now I will go on thinking that one day this will all be easier.

Pray for my Nattie she has been very sick, high fever, vomiting etc. We are going to see if she is doing any better today and if she is not take her to get some blood tests. The doctor wants her tested for Malaria. We serve the Great Physician who can heal her in an instant, just lift her up before His throne.

Getting Settled

I guess I thought this week would somehow be easier. I thought that since I had been to Kenya before I wouldn't have the culture shock that I am now experiencing. Living here is different than just being here. My struggles aren't enormous, but they still seem to overwhelm me. Is it due to jet lag or am I just unable to handle the pressures of a new country? I guess I will soon find out the answer to my own question. For now I'm left with the big struggle of not knowing what to cook, everyday I whip up an new concoction and call it dinner and everyday my experiments are rejected by those I live with. I did, however, make pancakes, and they proved hugely successful, but one cannot live on white flour alone, although my kids beg to differ. I don't blame them, I myself, am trying to devise a pancake diet that would give us all of the nutrients we need, but so far I have been unsuccessful.

I talk of food, because in my world, it's where I derive a great deal of comfort. Not only do I like to eat, I like those around me to eat as well. I know I can make a meal, and on a hard day it can nurse a weary spirit. Right or wrong it is one of the things that I have learned to do, and Africa has taken that away from me, at least for now. Not only is the culture different the food is strange and the cook (myself) is not creative. So I will continue to go to the store, look for food that looks somewhat familiar and pretend to know how to cook it.

My first week here and I'm dealing with my own food issues, how sad is that! Among a people who are looking for food in garbage piles, I sit and worry about what I will fix for dinner. I have a lot to learn from this confusing country I now call home.