Jehovah Jira

Have you ever wondered which direction is the right direction? Ever gotten to a crossroads and didn’t know which way to turn? Every situation has so many different directions; how are you suppose to choose one? In my mind there is always one “right” direction and the trick is trying to find it. This has been hard here, we all want to figure out the best way to help the boys on the street, we want to do what is right for the boys that are at Agape. They are like our own children, we agonize over how to raise them and if what we are doing is what God wants us to be doing. When I first got here I figured that there were cut and dry solutions to the problems here, now I’m starting to see that there aren’t. How do we help these boys without westernizing them, how can we love them and provide for them and yet have them grow into self sufficient adults? Don’t you hate that life’s questions aren’t easy. I wish that there was a formula for everything, but more often than not we are left to fumble around for the answers. I also find it amazing that we can all have different opinions on how to solve the exact same problem; it just goes to show that the formula I’m looking for doesn’t exist. I have looked for it in parenting, in home schooling, and now in ministry and each time I come up short. I think that I’m in search for the perfect formula because once you institute it you don’t have to think about it again, you simply follow the rules. This type of routine is comforting to my personality, the realization that these set of rules doesn’t exist is overwhelming. I don’t think that I’m the only one who is looking for the answers. There are thousands of NGO’s (the same as our non-profit organizations) across Kenya all trying to answer the question of poverty; trying to help children on the streets. The CDC and many major universities are in Kisumu trying to solve the AIDS epidemic. Yet, the number of children on the street is growing and the AIDS rates are climbing, so what is the answer? I do know this, it is not only about knowledge. It is not about simply educating people or giving them the things that make me feel better. I have found that it is easy to give people money here because it helps relieve my conscience, but is that true compassion? Is it helping these boys in life, or just for the moment? I’m finding out that most of the things I do, even under the guise of compassion, are driven by my desire to be the provider or to ease my conscience about living a privileged life. I don’t think this is how the Lord wants me to give, guilt giving is selfish giving and the Lord seems to get cut out of the equation. I have come to realize that it takes a mixture of knowledge and change of heart to make a difference. I can bring the knowledge, but the Lord has to change the heart. To see change we need to be down on our knees beseeching the Lord to bless the work being done here. We need to fight with one spirit (the spirit of unity) because a double minded man is unstable in ALL he does (James 1:8 NIV) . We need to seek and move in the direction of the Lord. I don’t want to merely take care of the symptoms of poverty but rather get to the root. I want Agape to make a lasting difference in the city of Kisumu, will you please join me in prayer seeking the Lord and His direction. Pray that we would be an organization that doesn’t merely hand out a band aid, but rather points people to the one and only provider, Jehovah Jira.