This week I have realized that I need to fight the discouragement and loneliness I feel with prayer. I know this isn't anything revolutionary, but for some reason I kept thinking the way I felt was just physical; I never thought it could be a spiritual attack. This week while I was praying with a few other missionaries, it hit me, I'm smack dab in the middle of some serious spiritual warfare. For the first time in my life I feel like I am being attacked morning, noon, and night. This new found revelation is comforting to me only because I know how to fight it. Now that I know it's spiritual I can go to the Word and prayer with purpose, there is power in that, (1 John 4:4, NIV) "The one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world".
I think I need to look at more of my life through a spiritual lens. The reality is that I live in a very oppressed part of the world, I need to rely on the Lord to fight my battles for me and through me. I am still amazed that God would chose me, a person that fears everything, a person that likes to be comfortable, a person that likes to be in control. I live among amazing evangelists, wonderful counselors, incredibly gifted leaders; I am definitely the weak link on the Agape team. I say that not to put myself down, but rather to be honest about why I would be the one to be attacked. Discouragement starts with one person, it's extremely contagious, left alone it can destroy a whole organization. I once heard someone say, "attitudes are contagious, is your worth catching?" I actually hate that phrase because it makes me take responsibility for the attitude in my home, but I am coming to realize how true that statement is. We can't always choose our circumstances, but we can chose our attitudes. Pray that I will choose the right one!
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2 comments:
I am so proud of you!! Your wisdom is unbelievable to me. Your walk with the Lord, your writing your life and everything else is so inspiring to me. You have taken a life of being uncomfortable and unknown and made it into an unbelievable positive experience. I know with things like snakes and stuff that part is uncomfortable but just your trust and faith in the Lord is amazing. Keep it up and we will continue to pray for you guys. we love and miss you very much
Love ya
Heather
My Darling Girl:
I'm so surprised you didn't realize what you've been experiencing is a spiritual attack. Particularly since you've told me how oppressed that part of Africa is. I agree it's nice knowing it's spiritual warfare because we know exactly how to fight it. I remember when I first became aware of spiritual warfare, I was in the midst of a huge attack completely unaware it even existed. Once I learned what it was and started fighting it with Scripture my situation completely turned around. The verse you quoted, 1John4:4, is what I clung to. I also found Eph.6:10-17 where Paul tells us to put on the armor of God. Verses 11,12 says "Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of the dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. In verse 16 Paul tells us, In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one." I remember how much that encouraged and comforted me knowing that taking up the shield of faith I could extinguish all the arrows Satan would send my way, not just some but all. My sweet girl, remember the enemy doesn't want you to have victory over your discouragement and loneliness. He doesn't want your attitude to change. He'll try to make it even worse than it is now. He's always trying to take us back to our deepest despair. But God is our strength, our rock, our refuge our mighty fortress. He will give you victory. What I just wrote reminded me of my quiet time today where I was reading in 2 Samuel 22:2-4, "The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer: my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation. He is my stronghold, my refuge and my savior, from violent men you save me. I call to the LORD, who is worthy of praise, and I am saved from my enemies." Farther down in this chapter it says in verse 29-30 "You are my lamp O LORD; the LORD turns my darkness into light. With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall." Only with God is there victory.
I love you,
Mom
P.S. I know I'm not telling you anything you don't already know but sometimes it's good to be reminded.
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