Crawl

We are leaving on safari tomorrow morning. I can’t believe that our parents trip is almost over. The passage of time can be both enemy and friend, and I find myself seeing it as an enemy right now. My heart is sad because they are leaving, I really don’t want to be left here when they leave. I know I need to stay; there are many more things that need to be refined in me before I leave this place. I always tell everyone, Africa has a way of showing you the things you would rather not know about yourself. It breaks something in you, I don’t know if this is a good thing or not; I do know it doesn’t feel good. But I have learned I can’t always trust my feelings; growth hurts, there’s no way around it. I hope, in years to come, I can look back and see all the good that living in Africa produced, and the faith it built. I pray that I will come out reflecting more of God’s glory and that I would have less of a hold on the temporal. Thank you for all your prayers over my last blog, I feel like I’m once again up and walking (actually crawling would be a more accurate description). I’m happy with crawling (it’s better than standing still), I have decided to measure success in baby steps...... it helps me not get discouraged. Discouragement seems to be a way of life for me lately, I wish there was a way for me to describe the oppression of this place, the constant battle, but I don’t have the words. I just long for victory and know that one day it will come. For now I will continue to crawl toward that finish line and keep my eyes on the prize.
The church behind our house just started their worship service, and I find my spirit refreshed by hearing a body of believers singing out to God. One thing about Kenyans is their worship is never quiet, and right now I’m thankful for that. Although our work here is trying, and being in the cross-hairs of the enemy is tiring, the Lord renews us, and strengthens us for the work He has called us to. I have always wanted immeasurable strength, but instead the Lord seems to give me just enough strength to keep going, sometimes an inch at a time. I know this keeps me relying on Him, keeps me on my knees before God’s throne asking for help.
I’m rambling and I guess the reason for my blog it just to say that I hate that my parents and in-laws are leaving. Please pray for us as we are all going to be lonely in their absence. Cassie and Zach have had a hard few days realizing that their grandparents are leaving soon. We covet your prayers and could really use an extra dose over the next few days, not only for loneliness, but for safety in travel as we are driving to the Masai Mara, and a safe trip home for Tom and my parents. We also want to lift Alexa Alger (Cassie’s good friend) up in prayer as she is having major back surgery on Monday. We love you Algers and are praying for you!