Teenagers

Is there any other parent of a teenager that feels you can do nothing right? It seems all I do is try to make a 13 year old girl happy and I seem to be failing miserably. My teenager is sweet and doesn't give me the normal attitude associated with the age, but I feel like I'm constantly letting her down. I'm terrible for taking her out of school and home schooling her, this is made worse by the fact that I don't have enough money to put her back in school. I feel like I'm this circus act that constantly has to be on to receive laughs and as soon as I stop performing it's back to the doldrums. I'm tired and I really want her know I'm trying, but I can't make her life happy, at some point she's got to help. Please don't think that my sweet girl is turning into something terrible, that couldn't be further from the truth. I think my sadness stems from the fact that I think I'm failing, I'm somehow not doing enough. Will I ever be free from feeling like I'm failing? A performance based life is a tired life, and quite frankly I'm ready for a rest!

Is That Her????

This is the fun Julie that Lindsay captured on film..... I think it was her last sighting. Anyway here she is, this gave me a hearty chuckle.

Finally

I'm finally writing again..... it has been way too long since I last posted. I can't even justify my absence, except to say I have been overwhelmed with school. I'm probably writing to no one, I would have stopped checking out this blog long ago, but here goes anyway. I have almost completed my first year home schooling. You would think I would feel accomplished, but quite the opposite, I'm constantly questioning whether or not I have done a good job. Will I ever stop being so hard on myself? I think what adds to my frustration is a 13 year old who is constantly letting me know that she wants to go back to school. Am I the only one whose expectations get them into trouble? I had this idea in my mind what home school would be like, that my kids would love it as much as I did. For the first half of the year it was going well, and now it seems we are all ready for it to end. The question is will I do this again next year, and I honestly don't know. I'm ready to be just their mom, instead of playing the double role of parent/teacher. Can kids who have been in school all their life enjoy being home schooled????

Enough about school, I will talk about my quest to find fun Julie. My New Year's resolution was to become fun once again (I think I was fun at one point in my life... long ago). I have been noticing that I have angry wrinkles; do you know how long you have to be angry to actually get permanent frown lines? I'm not sure, but if I were to guess it would be WAY TOO LONG! So far, fun Julie hasn't surfaced, but I, acting on faith, am still searching for her. I imagine her to be young and wistful, full of energy and grace. Quick with a joke or a smile she brightens any room she enters. Children love her, friends want to emulate her, her husband can't wait to get home; to put it plainly she is the life of the party. I know that she exists, not that I have met her, but I have imagined her and let me tell you when she finally emerges you will want to meet her. I will post the next glimpse I get of her.