I hate rejection. I actually don’t know of anyone who enjoys it, the thing is, I hate it, yet I seem to attract it; Why is that? I try so hard to keep myself safe from its bite, but every now and then I let my guard down, and BAM, it gets the best of me. The thing I hate most about rejection is its ability to take away my self worth. In no time flat, I am reduced to a weeping mess that is unsure of everything she has ever accomplished in life. I wish I could think logically and realize that just because someone doesn’t like who I am or what I have done, doesn’t mean that I am any less of a person. In my imagination I am that person, I am able to think, I am confident and can stand up for myself; but in real life, I have to admit, I really want people to like me.
I’m realizing that being excluded feels like rejection. It’s just wrapped up prettier; instead of coming right out and saying you aren’t good enough, it says maybe next time.... I actually think it’s more cunning because it keeps you waiting. I am also realizing that no matter how many times you have been rejected, it doesn’t get any easier. I wonder if you ever get to the point when it doesn’t sting anymore? When it doesn’t take away a part of you?
And then I turn to Jesus..... “He was despised and rejected by men, and man of sorrows and familiar with suffering.” (Isaiah 53:3 NIV) And I realize that He knows rejection, He knows exclusion.... even to death. And somehow this brings me comfort; this takes away the sting. I don’t know if it’s because I have a God who will never reject me, or if it’s because I know He has gone through it all before. Either way I know I’m not alone, and even if the people in this world don’t understand me, or like me, or want me, I have a God who does, and that seems to make everything a little lighter.
