Open the Floodgates

We have water once again, actually it was only out for three days for us (some of our friends went without for five days). I'm not sure why they turned the water back on early, but I do have some theories:

1) They feared riot, Julie was getting pretty ugly after three days (by ugly,I'm referring to mood, rather than looks).
2) They realized after three days that man cannot live without water (go figure).
3) They couldn't handle the increase in B.O.
4) The hospitals were full of dehydrated people, only no one could take care of them because the doctors were parched as well.
5) They forgot they had said 6 days.
6) They don't yet realize that a rebel water worker flipped the switch.
7) Hakuna Matata

Just a few reasons that I came up with for the early turn on. That is not to say we weren't happy about it; it was the most exciting thing that happened all week. I think a few tears were shed by Zach because he has to resume showering, but he is now clean and all is well.

Zach's birthday is tomorrow and we are planning a party at Kiboko Bay, it is a hotel where the kids can swim and we can have dinner. Now we are just hoping that it doesn't rain, it usually rains every night here. Normally, we welcome rain because it cools everything down, but tomorrow we will suffer through the heat for Zach's big day.

Nattie keeps saying her Sunday school verse. It's Psalms 1:3, it took me awhile to figure out the reason she says, "Sams Chapta 1 vus 3" is because that is how the Kenyans say it. At first I was wondering where the book of Sams was, but then I heard her say "wata" (water)and I realized that she is saying it with her Kenyan Sunday school teacher's accent (it's pretty funny).

I though I would include a funny story about Sam.... the other day I asked him what kinds of things he will look for in a wife when he is a man, he looked at me and very confidently answered, "my woman has to be blue!" I think the blue part is pretty funny, but am mildly concerned that he calls his future wife "my woman" He also let me know that I could live with him when I am an old woman..... thanks Sam!

All is going well, We are looking forward to celebrating our boys 11th birthday..... HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZACH. Am I old enough to have an almost 13 year old and an 11 year old??

Water

Our water has been turned off, I thought it was going to be the normal one day shut-off, but it turns out that it will be much longer than that. Six days to be exact, it was shut off Wednesday and it will be turned back on Monday night. We are one of the lucky few that has a large holding tank (it lasts about two days!), needless to say the Westfall's are now on severe water rationing. I am trying to keep a good attitude about the whole situation; I should be happy that at least we have a little water, but I find myself getting grouchy about being stinky. We have gone to Nakumatt and stocked up on drinking water, but I am realizing that water is used for so much more than drinking. Not showering is the least of our problems, six people in a house with toilets that can be flushed once a day makes for one nasty house. I now know why most people in Kenya have a squatty potty (which is a hole in the ground). Actually, it’s more likely that people have a squatty potty because of no indoor plumbing, but you never know...... it could be because the city likes to shut-off the water

I think tonight I am going to try and take a bucket bath, or maybe I'll give my water to Nattie and Sam because they smell like dirty puppies. I can stand my own smell, but I'm starting to have a hard time being around the smaller children. Zach brought up the idea of going to the pool to get clean; we may not be able to soap up, but at least we can get some of the dirt off and maybe the small amount of chlorine might even kill a germ or two (Zach is always thinking). I wonder if we should go swimming with our clothes on, because as much as our bodies need washing our clothes are in need of a good cleaning too. Tom and Cass have resorted to covering their greasy hair with either hat or head-wrap, and Zach is just super excited because he doesn't have to take a shower....... is this just a 10 year old boy phase? I sure hope so.

Not having a TV, we don't know about anything that is happening in the world, much less in Kisumu (not that they have Kisumu news anyway). But, this has shown us, we need to get the Kisumu paper. Apparently, they told everyone about the water shut-off awhile ago..... who knew. The lesson I have learned through this whole process is that ignorance, is definitely not bliss, but rather dirty!

So as you are enjoying your nice, clean water, remember your dirty, parched friends in Kisumu!

Bugs

School is finally finished for today, I actually wasn't sure that it would ever come to a close. But, alas here I sit footloose and fancy free, until tomorrow. I am starting to sound like I don't enjoy teaching my children and that isn't true, but somedays it feels a bit like hitting your head against a cement wall.... multiple times!!!!! These are the days when my sweet first grader doesn't understand a thing I am saying, because she is worried that a big bug will come into our classroom. The days when my sweet Sam doesn't give a flying fig if I am the one in control, he's going to do what he wants anyway. The days when one more assignment makes my hormonal daughter roll her eyes (again), and my ever inquisitive middle son just can't stop asking questions. These are the days that make my head spin and patience grow. I'm blaming the weather, because it's a lot easier than blaming myself. It has been hot in the morning and stormy in the afternoon. I'm not complaining, it is a LOT cooler, but it is causing my kids to act like crazy people. Someone has to back me up here, there has to be a study somewhere verifying my weather theory. Until I find out that my theory is unfounded I refuse to take the blame for my children's unruly behavior....... simply because I don't want to.

So a story about a bug....... big, huge, black, flying insects like to make their way into our classroom. I don't know why, it isn't particularly a beautiful or inviting place, but the fact remains, at least one a day comes in. We have a routine when this small aircraft comes buzzing in, we jump up, scream really loud, duck down (so as not to get hit by it) and run out. When we are all safely out, we look for someone to go in and rid the room of our flying friend. Once the bug is properly disposed of, school resumes and everyone is happy. Today everything happened in the order I described above, but when we ran out, no one could be found to go back in and "take care" of the situation. I decided I would show my children what a courageous mom I was and I stormed back into the room with fire in my eyes and a broom in my hand. I was ready for a fight, but I couldn't find the bug, I looked everywhere, I still have no idea where he went, but after a thorough investigation I called everyone back into class and declared the room safe. Nattie was not convinced, she needed evidence, and when none could be produced she quietly whimpered the rest of the day. the bug was bad enough, the whimpering was pure insanity, but when the girl decided it would be beneficial to scream out every now and again because she thought she saw something....... well, that was when I lost my mind. I was jittery the rest of the day thinking that bug was going to jump out and get me, thanks to a six year old with an active imagination. I hope tomorrow will be a bug free day!

Boundaries

Today has been a good day. I know many of you are saying, FINALLY (actually I'm saying that also). What made it so good, you ask? Well, it was just plain fun; no work, just play. It has been a while since we have had a day like that. This week has been busy for Tom, so the kids and I didn't get to see him much. Today that all changed, and we got to spend the whole day with him, which made all of us a little happier. One of the hardest adjustments, for me, into a life of ministry is the blurry line between work and family life. It seems that every moment is trying to figure out ministry and play gets pushed off until you just don't have it anymore. I don't know how you draw boundaries, but today I realized that we need to. I saw the difference in my attitude as well as the attitudes of our kids when we put time into our family. Why is it that we feel guilty about carving out time to just have fun? There will always be work that needs to be done, but we need to realize that the enemy can easily cause division in a family that isn't spending time resting. So for the first time I realized why it's been hard for me to be here; where most of my frustration has come from, and that is, you never get away from work. Please pray that we can make reasonable boundaries as we make the adjustment into the life of ministry.

Kisumu just seems to be getting hotter everyday, so today we hit the local pool. To our surprise, the pool was clean and the people were few; a great combination if you ask me. The only problem is that when you are on the equator, the sun is like a laser beam that melts your skin off, so us mzungus (whit people) have come home red and needing a lot of aloe vera. We listened to Christmas music all day and laughed because here it is October and it is just starting to warm up. So instead of hot it has become excruciating; Christmas music seems to make the weather tolerable though. I have to laugh because as I sing about Jack Frost nibbling at your nose, I realize that most Kenyans have no idea what snow even is. Right now it is hard to imagine what cold is, but I know that December is right around the corner and our trip home will quickly reacquaint us with the it; can’t wait to see a lot of you in December!

Resurrection

As I have said before, I am reading the book, “Lord,Give Me a Heart for You” by Kay Arthur. I am always amazed when the Lord brings something into my life, whether it be a person or a book, that ministers to me right where I’m at. That has happened two times today; once with the book, and once with a conversation I had with my sister; both were balm to my soul. They showed me areas that I need to give up, areas that I need to let the Lord heal, and areas that I need to grow in. It’s times like these that I am completely caught off guard by Gods tender love for me. I know in my mind that the Lord cares deeply for me and that He is concerned with the trials that I face, but I have a hard time believing it when life gets hard. I have realized that I give the Lord a lot of lip-service, I don’t know if this is because I want to look better than I actually am, or if it is just a matter of human weakness; doing the very thing I do not want to do. Either way the Lord has shown me that I am adequate in Him, it does not come from myself. The word adequate has a lot of different connotations; capable, effective, competent, satisfactory, sufficient; I am ALL of these IN Christ. I am capable of answering His call to be effective in His work because He is sufficient to get me through; praise you, Father. When I find my adequacy in Christ I can persevere through the hardest storms. He breathes light into darkness and is faithful to do the same thing in a life that is surrendered to Him.

In John 12:24 Jesus says, “I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds”

Kay Arthur says, “ Fruit is born out of death---death produces life”, I have always said that the Lord showed me this principle when Sam was born. We had gone through a year of loss; loss of a business which led to loss of a reputation, loss of everything we had worked hard to gain. It was a year of sadness and in the midst of it I found out I was pregnant with Sam, I was angry, I saw it as loss...a loss of freedom. The Lord was so faithful to show me, through my pregnancy, that where there is death there is resurrection. Sam was a way for us to know that God gives life, that He hears our cries, that He understands our pain, and that He is still in control. We gave him the name Samuel because it means God hears. He hears us and gives us what we need, even when we don’t yet realize it’s what we need.

Being in Africa is a different kind of death, it’s death of a life that I loved. It’s death of living in a community I knew, in a culture I understood. It’s death of comfort and peace of mind and many times laughter. But what I am learning is that Christ is worth it; This life hurts and lot of times I get angry, but God promises that life will come out of it. He has shown me that when there is death there is resurrection. I haven’t seen the light yet, I’m still searching for the resurrection, but I know God is faithful to give it. I just keep thinking of Sam and remembering that my God is about life.

Hot

All I can say is, sweltering. I haven't been really hot since we moved here until NOW, being in the southern hemisphere it is our winter....but that is quickly changing...yuck. Actually, I'm not sure if tonight is sweltering, or if I'm just having major hot flashes, but either way I'm burning up. With the start of the hot weather we decided to go to Kisumu's country club to go swimming this weekend. I should have taken a picture of what an African country club looks like; I think it's considered a country club when you can see the bottom of the pool. We were very excited to see clear water as it has been awhile since we have swam in a clean pool. The pool we usually swim at has been closed down for cleaning....let's just say, that's a good thing. So with our usual pool closed, Daniel, Lindsay, Tom and I packed the kids up and went to the "club", and had a good time.

Thank you for your prayers, Nattie and Sam are back to normal. We are all praying we don't get what they had. I hope this week is a little more productive than last week; it seems that school gets put on the back burner when I have sick kids. I am still trying to figure out how to be both mom and teacher, and at times, I find it difficult to be both; I wonder if I'm doing either very well. I just keep praying that the Lord will take up the slack, and that He will give my kids what they need when I am unable to.

I just got to talk to my sweet sister-in-law on the phone, and was amazed at how the Lord is working in both our lives. On different continents, in different circumstances we are being taught the same lessons....we serve an awesome God. He isn't done with any of us and will work out His purposes in our lives no matter what the situation. Don't you just wish it was easier? But I have a feeling if it were easy we wouldn't be changing and becoming the people He knows we can be.
We also rejoice in our sufferings (or trials), because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope....and hope does not disappoint us. (Romans 5:3). We will trust that you will produce these things in us and we will lift our sufferings to you, Oh Lord.

Fear

I am struggling with fear, I know this nothing new, but I haven't felt it in awhile. I was basking in the freedom of its absence when it suddenly returned with a vengeance. The cause of this new wave of fear is nothing more than sick kids. If I could be a logical thinker, I would be able to see this; but fear seems to take all logic and leaves one pondering only the worst outcomes. Fear would love nothing more than to lock me in a prison of self-loathing and throw away the key. It's times like these that make me question our decision to come here. Why would loving parents take their four children to Africa? Why would we expose them to a world of disease and heartache? These are the questions that plague me when things don't go as planned. Tom, being of sound mind, always reminds me that kids get sick and then they get better. I can see his point, but I struggle with the lack of medical care and the abundance of disease that Africa has to offer. Am I being a responsible parent by taking my kids here? I ask these questions to God, because in the end, He is the one with our lives in his hands.

I wish faith were easier, but fear is always there waiting to chase it away. Right now I want to be sitting on a couch in California, watching a mindless TV program, nursing my kids back to health in the comfort of the west. Instead I'm sitting in the east armed with some Gatorade powder and an over-active imagination. As I write this, I am reminded that I am protected, not by the west, but rather, by the Lord, the great physician, and I need to trust Him. So I have to keep asking myself...whom am I trusting, and more often than not, the answer is myself.

How do I move from knowledge to faith? Maybe it's by staying here, when everything in me tells me to go home. I need to trust that the Lord has our future in His hands, instead of becoming overly introspective about what He hasn't called me to. I actually don't know how to do this, but I will take action by continuing to lift my kids up in prayer and staying in Africa despite fear. Isaiah 41:10 (NIV) says, "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you will my righteous right hand." 2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJ) says, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." I have to admit that I love the sound-mind part, because that is what fear takes from me; a mind that can logically look at the facts. I will pray that this blanket of fear will lift so that I once again can think logically. I also love that God gives me a spirit of power over fear, I don't need to stay in fear's prison, I'm already free..... Lord, help me to trust you and to believe your word.

Pray that Natalie and Sam would get better and that I would remain sane. Pray that I wouldn't always doubt why I am here. And pray that I would be able to stand up in that spirit of power and break out of the prison of fear.

The Great White North...eh

In honor of all our Canadian friends, Cassie and I decided to make an apple pie for their Thanksgiving. In case you didn't know, the Canadian Thanksgiving is October 8th. Making an apple pie was weird in two ways 1. It’s an American dessert (we just don't have Saskatoon’s around here), and 2. Our Canadian friends are out of the country right now; but we missed them and decided we would pretend to be Canadians for the day....eh? and made our pie. About two years ago I had sworn off pie baking due to my inability to make a good crust. I thought that nothing was worth the trouble of making a pie, but yesterday Cassie started talking about missing apple pie, and my mouth started watering. One minute I was never going to be a pie chef, and the next I was trying to see what we could used as a pie pan. We went to Nakumatt, picked up a "pie pan" and set off on a pie baking adventure. After a time of prayer and laying on of hands, our pie was finished; it was a thing of beauty. I'm not trying to brag, but I almost cried tears of joy when I first laid eyes on it....I took a picture so you too could marvel at what we created. Everything went perfectly until Kenyan Power and Lighting decided it was time for a brown out. A whole 40 volts were pumping into our house as our pie was in the oven. I was so proud of my pie that I couldn't bear to take it out when it wasn't done; I just figured lower heat meant more time. Now I know that hind sight is 20/20, but if I would have stopped to think about it, I would have realized that our oven was temporarily turned into a dehydrator. The thought never crossed my mind, until I took that first bite....all I can say is Jerky. So in honor of our Great White North neighbors, Cass and I have invented apple pie jerky. We also realized that with large amounts of ice cream it isn't that bad; actually to be honest I could probably eat anything with large amounts of ice cream on top. So as you gaze at the picture of my pie, remember that it is a white washed tomb.....looks good on the outside but in reality it's full of nastiness

Softening a Hard Heart

I have just had an amazing night. I'm thankful for the refreshing that comes from worship. We have a team here from the states and after dinner tonight we sang, prayed and shared; it was so encouraging. I think this week I have been too tired to fight. Being in a constant battle has worn me down, and I'm sad to report that I just didn't care anymore. Apathy was calling my name, and I was happy to answer. The status quo beckoned and as I was reaching out my hand to take a hold of it, the Lord softened my heart. I have gone through many ups and downs since I have been here, but this is the first time that my heart has been hard. I was sad and lonely, but I wasn't broken I was rebellious, I wasn't compassionate I was cold. I looked around at this place with an air of arrogance and saw only myself among the needy. It's so crazy how I can actually make myself believe that I have it pretty bad, I can go away from meeting a street child and come home and cry because it's not fair that I have to live here. There is something wrong with this way of thinking, it is always centered on myself. I need to become a selfless thinker....is this even possible? I have been convicted that even most of my prayer time is spent on praying for myself. I don't think this is necessarily bad, but I have a feeling that if I didn't waste so much time thinking about myself I would be healthier. The love of self gets in the way of freedom because it can never see past itself. I want to live a life that isn't centered on me.

I wrote this a few days ago and I thought I would share it because I love the fact that the Lord has renewed my heart toward this ministry. I don't know why I always feel like the victim; why I always feel I deserve more. I wonder when I will completely understand that I am not among Africa’s most needy. When will I see that I am privileged, I write about it all the time, but somehow I haven't grasped it yet. I love the fact that the Lord doesn't look down on me, He forgives me and helps me to keep walking. In 2 Corinthians (1:5) the Lord tells us that we will suffer, but He will be there to comfort us. What an amazing promise, we are never alone in our suffering. I know that my suffering doesn't hold a candle to what some of you are going through, but that is the awesome thing about the Lord, He helps us in all kinds of suffering, whether big or small. He is comforting the kids on the streets in Africa as much as He is comforting a self absorbed mother of four living in a house in Kisumu.

Our bible study is going through the book by Kay Arthur, "Lord, Give Me a Heart for You", it is an amazing book. Kay writes, "When we go beyond our limit, then we experience the supernatural intervention of God and we know that we know that it's God. And we'll never forget it. It will be a genuine experience that will always remind us of the total sufficiency of His grace--grace perfected, brought to completion in our weakness."

Answered Prayer

About a week ago I told the Lord I needed to know why I'm here. I needed to know what my purpose was. I see my husband and other missionaries here and they all have purpose, but I felt like I was just existing until I got to go home. I wrote a letter to God, puring out my heart wanting to have some direction. And in true Julie fashion, I then went to my husband and told him that I was going home in a week if I didn't feel better. Tom was so patient with me, he just simply said he would pray for me. That night our friends Daniel and Lindsay came over and encouraged me and I felt like the Lord lightened my burden (that is what I talked about in my last blog). The Lord gave me strength to keep going, and I praised Him for answering my prayers. I have been slowly feeling better and the Lord has given me peace about staying, so needless to say I forgot about my letter. I forgot about all the questions I cried out for God to answer, until this morning when I logged onto my blog and saw all of the comments. Ephesians 3:20 says, "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us" This morning I remembered all the things I asked of the Lord; I'm in awe because He answered every single question through all of you. Thank you for your honesty, I am humbled that the Lord would use me, and am surprised that the Lord can use such weakness to bring glory to Himself. Praise you Father, you are the strength that gets me through my day. I know that the Bible says the Lord's power is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9) but it's amazing to actually see this principle lived out in life. I praise God that He is attracted to weakness, and that He is using me to fulfill His plan despite myself. Thank you for your encouragement; you have ministered more to me than you will ever know. Thank you for allowing me to pour out my heart and share my life with you. Thank you for not judging me, but rather loving me despite my selfishness. The Lord has used you to keep this weary servant on the right path.......I hope that He will use me to do the same thing for you.